Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Ra.One: The Second Poster

I know, I know I haven't been very timely lately. Ra.One posters, promos, and songs have been making a whirlwind around me and I have nothing to say? Not possible. It seems like the promo videos are getting most of the attention, so that the newest poster has slipped under many radars. Let us examine:

* O hayyy Shahrukh!!! Nice abs! Even if they are probably computer generated, he's looks great.

* Finally! We're getting more Kareena exposure. Is it just me or does she look wayyyy skinnier than she actually is? Probably more photoshopping magic, but she also looks pretty good. Only Kareena can manage to look ravishing in an injured state.

* Does that outfit look familiar? Looks like Chammak Challo is going to lead into some crazy action sequence. Either that, or this poster actually has nothing to do with the movie's story.

* The background looks like Hogwarts. Just sayin'.

* My other reaction to the background was that it looks like a video game. Then I read part of the synopsis and realized that it makes sense (I refuse to read the entire synopsis--what's the fun in that?!)

* "Haan farishtey hote hain..." Getting senti, are we?

* What's up with all this blue blood we keep seeing? I just hope it's not some terrible metaphor.

* WHERE IS ARJUN RAMPAL?!!!!!!!!! :(

This movie is looking more promising with each preview.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Movie Review: Ready

Starring: Salman Khan, Asin
Director: Anees Bazmee
Original Release Date: June 3, 2011

*No Spoilers*

The fact that it took me 3 attempts and a month and a half to finally finish Ready should probably tell you how this review is going to go. I began watching the movie knowing that it was probably going to be a one-man show by Salman Khan and knowing that Anees Bazmee films can be totally hilarious (No Entry, Singh is Kinng) or total duds (Thank You, Welcome) but I could still barely get through Ready.

Ready started off promising. It looked like a fun little light-hearted family comedy that was actually making me laugh. And "Character Dheela" is one of my favorite songs of the year (hey, Zarine Khan is kind of charming!). On top of that, Asin is always loveable. The fun ended there. And so did my ability to stay awake.

I really truly actually like mindless comedies. But there's a catch--they have to actually be funny. What started out as a cute family movie became unnecessarily complicated and tireless with pointless twists, turns, fights, and a needless amount of gunde (who actually looked more like jokers. Were those really dreads on that one guy?) The movie became tiresome way too quickly. Even the picturization of "Dhinka Chika" seemed to completely suck.

I really wouldn't be able to tell you what happened in the middle of Ready because I constantly found my attention wearing away as I daydreamed (probably about better movies) throughout a good portion of it. The film just dragged on and on and on and on...

Ready was strictly an ode to Salman Khan, and that also became old really really fast. Most movies with superstar actors tend to have some tributary elements, but this was so blatantly transparent that it was sickening. Just because you're a superstar doesn't mean you don't have to put in the effort of actually acting. Sorry, but Sallu's constant dialogue-baazi was thoroughly annoying. Those two-liner limericks made me want to shoot myself. I thought I was watching a movie--not reading couplets. Just sayin'.

On the whole, Ready just felt dated. This type of movie would probably fly in 1995, but there's a reason it went out of style. But maybe it's just me, considering that Ready was one of the highest grossing films ever. Yeah, I'm still scratching my head at that.

Ready was a waste of top-notch actors, a waste of good music, and a waste of life. The first half was watchable, and the beginning was actually good. Other than that, Ready was about two hours too long. The commercial success of the film was clearly just a result of Salman's superstar status. And the sad thing is, I don't think they were going for much more than that.

Final Verdict: 3/10