Ra.One: The Second Poster

I know, I know I haven't been very timely lately. Ra.One posters, promos, and songs have been making a whirlwind around me and I have nothing to say? Not possible. It seems like the promo videos are getting most of the attention, so that the newest poster has slipped under many radars. Let us examine:

* O hayyy Shahrukh!!! Nice abs! Even if they are probably computer generated, he's looks great.

* Finally! We're getting more Kareena exposure. Is it just me or does she look wayyyy skinnier than she actually is? Probably more photoshopping magic, but she also looks pretty good. Only Kareena can manage to look ravishing in an injured state.

* Does that outfit look familiar? Looks like Chammak Challo is going to lead into some crazy action sequence. Either that, or this poster actually has nothing to do with the movie's story.

* The background looks like Hogwarts. Just sayin'.

* My other reaction to the background was that it looks like a video game. Then I read part of the synopsis and realized that it makes sense (I refuse to read the entire synopsis--what's the fun in that?!)

* "Haan farishtey hote hain..." Getting senti, are we?

* What's up with all this blue blood we keep seeing? I just hope it's not some terrible metaphor.

* WHERE IS ARJUN RAMPAL?!!!!!!!!! :(

This movie is looking more promising with each preview.

Movie Review: Ready

Starring: Salman Khan, Asin
Director: Anees Bazmee
Original Release Date: June 3, 2011

*No Spoilers*

The fact that it took me 3 attempts and a month and a half to finally finish Ready should probably tell you how this review is going to go. I began watching the movie knowing that it was probably going to be a one-man show by Salman Khan and knowing that Anees Bazmee films can be totally hilarious (No Entry, Singh is Kinng) or total duds (Thank You, Welcome) but I could still barely get through Ready.

Ready started off promising. It looked like a fun little light-hearted family comedy that was actually making me laugh. And "Character Dheela" is one of my favorite songs of the year (hey, Zarine Khan is kind of charming!). On top of that, Asin is always loveable. The fun ended there. And so did my ability to stay awake.

I really truly actually like mindless comedies. But there's a catch--they have to actually be funny. What started out as a cute family movie became unnecessarily complicated and tireless with pointless twists, turns, fights, and a needless amount of gunde (who actually looked more like jokers. Were those really dreads on that one guy?) The movie became tiresome way too quickly. Even the picturization of "Dhinka Chika" seemed to completely suck.

I really wouldn't be able to tell you what happened in the middle of Ready because I constantly found my attention wearing away as I daydreamed (probably about better movies) throughout a good portion of it. The film just dragged on and on and on and on...

Ready was strictly an ode to Salman Khan, and that also became old really really fast. Most movies with superstar actors tend to have some tributary elements, but this was so blatantly transparent that it was sickening. Just because you're a superstar doesn't mean you don't have to put in the effort of actually acting. Sorry, but Sallu's constant dialogue-baazi was thoroughly annoying. Those two-liner limericks made me want to shoot myself. I thought I was watching a movie--not reading couplets. Just sayin'.

On the whole, Ready just felt dated. This type of movie would probably fly in 1995, but there's a reason it went out of style. But maybe it's just me, considering that Ready was one of the highest grossing films ever. Yeah, I'm still scratching my head at that.

Ready was a waste of top-notch actors, a waste of good music, and a waste of life. The first half was watchable, and the beginning was actually good. Other than that, Ready was about two hours too long. The commercial success of the film was clearly just a result of Salman's superstar status. And the sad thing is, I don't think they were going for much more than that.

Final Verdict: 3/10

Chammak Challo--full on!

Clearly on yesterday's post, I spoke too soon because here is a full 90 second promo of "Chammak Challo" from Ra.One!

Ok so I can't be the only one who's first reaction to this preview was "WTF." That Bharatnatyam by Shahrukh at the beginning really threw me off...and actually kind of scared me. But I quickly got over it because the rest of the promo is AWESOME.

I stand by pretty much everything I said about the 15 second teaser in my previous post. SRK and Kareena both look divine. I'm still getting used to the choreography of the whole thing but, hey, at least it's interesting.

Now on to the big issue--the lip synching. I admit, it's a little weird. Akon's voice doesn't really match Shahrukh...EXCEPT for the Hindi portions, which really do work. And by the time you get to the (extremely well pronounced) Hindi, you forget that SRK really just said "shawty." I do think it would've been best if Akon made an actual appearance in the song though. Also, where did the female voice come from? That definitely was not in the leaked version! I like it though. The female voice meshes with Akon's really well.

My favorite part of the trailer was what it revealed about Ra.One as a whole--it's actually going to be funny! That's something I wasn't really expecting. But this trailer shows that the movie is definitely going to have its goofy moments. And goofy is something Shahrukh definitely does best.

Ra.One: The Shortest Teaser Ever

Here's a teaser in true teaser fashion--a mere 15 second glimpse into arguably the most hyped up song (and movie) of the year. An early version of "Chammak Challo," sung by Akon, was leaked on the Internet a few months ago and ever since then, we've all been dying to know exactly how the song will be picturized. So it's only 15 seconds. At least it's something.

My first thought upon watching this (besides watching the time quickly run down) was how completely breathtaking Kareena looks. I was pretty surprised at the Indian-ness of her get-up. But her traditional look is so sexy! Then of course there's SRK, who looks as dashing as ever. We don't get a close up of him, but his hair is perfection. Seriously.

One of the things I was concerned about when "Chammak Challo" leaked was whether Shahrukh would actually be lip synching to the song--and how ridiculous that would be. From this trailer, it kind of seems like he is lip synching to it, but somehow it's not that bad! And on an unrelated note, the beat of this song is totally hot.

As time goes on, I'm feeling better and better about Ra.One. =D

An interesting forthcoming documentary

As an avid Bollywood fan, I admit that I tend to focus most of my attention on mainstream films and artists. Let's take a quick break from gushing about Mausam or counting down to Mere Brother Ki Dulhan and appreciate this upcoming documentary, called The Bollywood Project.

The film is currently in post-production stages, so it might be a while before we're actually able to watch it. The movie will take us behind the scenes and into the the lives of four Bollywood industry workers: a minor actor, a union leader, a makeup artist, and a backup dancer.

I hope the movie gets the money it needs to be completed, because it really would be nice to get an unbiased look into the industry we all know and love. Click here for an article about the film, and a trailer. What do you think? 

Hi! Magazine needs to say BYE to its photographer

Okay, not that I know anything about photography, but how does one manage to make such beautiful people look so hideous? Well Hi! Magazine can surely tell you how. I'm not sure if it's bad photography or bad photoshopping or even just bad makeup/styling to blame for this, but these August covers are not okay. First up is Saif Ali Khan on the cover of Hi! Blitz:

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The usually hunky and dashing Saif looks almost sickly in this picture. With a headline proclaiming that he's "back" he sure doesn't look happy to be so. The white background makes his skin look deathly pale (did the dementors get to him?) and that bad haircut isn't helping things. Add that not-so-sexy smouldering expression to the mix, and Saif pretty much looks like a creature of the night. Or an alcoholic that hasn't bothered to bathe in a while (Slouch some more, will you? It's really helping.).

Yeah, I'm definitely being way too harsh on one of my favorite actors in the industry but I'm not blaming him! I'm blaming the magazine for putting out this atrocious photo. That plain red shirt also looks like the magazine took their styling cues from the dying Aman of KHNH. 

Oh Saifu, don't worry, we know you're better than this! But, please, that haircut needs to go.

Then there's Sonali Bendre. Remember that bombshell beauty that never really made it that big even though she was absolutely gorgeous? She's 36 now (the last time we saw her was in KHNH about 7 years ago) but still shouldn't look this bad on the cover of Hi! Living:

First of all, that outfit is gorgeous and Sonali of all people should've been able to rock it. But it's not her fault that this is clearly a bad angle (Tyra would tell her to "find her light") and a botched photoshop job.

Seriously, why would you do that to her face? She looks kind of demonic and literally does not look like herself. I thought photoshop and airbrushing technology existed to "enhance" people's natural beauty (aka make them look better). This is a great example of when not to photoshop--Sonali is a natural beauty. Leave her alone! I realize that every photo probably needs a bit of alteration to reach today's impossible standards but this is ridiculous. Do these editors not have eyes?

Sonali, sign up for a new film and show the world how beautiful you really are.

As a side thought, are these even "original" Hi! Magazine pictures? We all know that magazines tend to recycle old pictures (especially magazines that aren't totally top tier) so maybe these pictures aren't actually Hi! Magazine's doing. In which case, the magazine fails even more. Why would you willingly choose these photos? 

Forthcoming: Mere Brother Ki Dulhan

I love love love YRF, but I hate hate hate Katrina Kaif. So. What do I do with this unfortunate combination? I grow up and accept the fact that Katrina's in the movie, try to ignore her as much as possible, and officially get excited for Meri Brother Ki Dulhan. After all, YRF rarely fails to disappoint me.

First of all, I love this title track. I don't really get the appeal for Imran Khan, but he's cute enough so maybe I'll come around after this movie. The song is fun and catchy, and I like the tributary "Khan" dance steps. He mimics Salman from Dabangg, Shahrukh's "Chaiyya Chaiyya," and apparently Aamir's "Pathshaala" (although I see more of a "Eh Kya Bolti Tu" inspiration?). As an ardent SRK fan I can say that Imran fulfilled the "Chaiyya Chaiyya" steps pretty well...he just doesn't quite have the hair for it ;)

The song promo for "Dhunki" was also released today and is causing quite a sensation:

Despite Katrina's played out New York look and vibe, I gotta say that I like this song. And she does look good. YRF sure knows how to make its promos. At first I was unsure of the picturization of this song vs the actual audio, but as the promo went on, I was sold. And considering I was watching Katrina on screen for almost a full 3 minutes, that's a big feat.

Other cool things about this movie? Ali Zafar! I haven't actually seen Tere Bin Laden yet, but I've known of Ali Zafar through his music--and he's such a cutie! I'm excited to see him on screen and in such a big name film.

Generally, Mere Brother Ki Dulhan looks like a played-out and formulaic story, with nothing new or particularly unique to bring to Bollywood. But, I think that's exactly what I'm looking forward to--a fun movie, with catchy songs, and an overall entertainer. And, I swear, I'll try really hard to look past...the Kaif.

Meri Brother Ki Dulhan releases September 9th.